Have you ever experienced a Eureka moment? I once suddenly understood a secret of almost all of our negative emotions when I was asking around the question: “What is your most irritated negative feeling?”
And results? Mine is “I have problems with anger” (read my article about Treating anger the unbound way), some will have different issues such as:
“I am still poor and I hate that”
“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”
“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”
“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this.”
“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”
“I don’t know yet about my future.” [both studying and working]
The list goes on.
And I will tell you this secret:
It starts with Fear.
90% of our bad emotions come from Fear. Let’s work again all of the emotions (and feel free to apply yours!):
“I have problems with anger”: Fear of losing control on something.
“I am still poor and I hate that”: Fear of being unrecognized or being looked down.
“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”: Fear of being denied or abandoned from the society.
“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”: Again, Fear of losing control.
“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this”: Fear of being imprisoned in life, which is beyond our control.
“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”: Fear of losing our lovers, losing our worthiness, Fear of being compared.
“I don’t know yet about my future.” [Both studying and working]: Fear of unknown future, Fear of lack of purposes, or even deeper: Fear of not knowing the purpose of our existence.
And not just Anger and Jealousy, so many other negative emotions, for examples Shame, Anxiety or Disappointment, also have the root cause which is Fear.
My dear readers, relax. It’s not that bad, because in case you didn’t read my previous articles, negative emotions are serving us.
And You have just taken your first step to understand your root cause, which is vital to cope with Fear.
Normal ways to deal with fear
There are useful practices to combat fearbefore it spins out of control.
- Exercise for 20 to 30 minutes daily to release the body’s natural endorphins
- Employ relaxation methods, for instance breathing techniques, yoga and meditation
- Change your diet to include more fresh leafy green vegetables and fresh fish can help you cope with the daily stresses you feel.
- Apply simple aromatherapy
- Enjoy a relaxing cup of chamomile tea or a glass of warm milk before bedtime can help provide a good night’s sleep.
- Remove nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol from your life is also important because these stimulants fuel fear.
Decoding your fear
There are two types of fear: rational and irrational. The fear you feel when your house is on fire is different from the fear when you see cockroaches or spiders, or fear of heights, thunder and lightning, which are called “phobia”.
Most of fear we encounter in this modern world is irrational fear. A great way to deal with this emotion is to realize that your fear is irrational and confront that fear regardless! For example, if you are afraid of spiders then find a way to confront it. You can start by looking at spiders in pictures, then look at real spiders, and finally try touching real spiders. Attacking fears is the best way to overcome it.
By being willing to meet fear, face to face, you open yourself to experience the fear and allow it to unravel in front of you, to reveal that the fear is nothing when met fully. The greatest fear is fear itself.
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