I bet you experienced this feeling, for so many times in your life.
(No worries, me too)
Let’s make up some (very related) examples:
Your crush refused you and your carefully prepared 100 roses, in front of so many strangers on the street?
Your colleague took the promotion at year end which should have been yours and laughed at your face?
Your loved one promised to come home early to have dinner together at your anniversary and was nowhere to be seen, even though it was so late already?
Whether we’re talking about a lost job, a child being disappointed because Mom or Dad didn’t make it to the school play, a failed marriage where you put the blame squarely on your spouse, the feelings are all the same. As a “victim”, your disappointment could be so great that you will not ever forgive. No matter how slight the reason is, when you are experiencing disappointment, the feelings are real. Consequently, if we do not deal with disappointment appropriately, they become counterproductive and create even more disappointment.
There are two types of people on earth. Type I are those who take any disappointment in stride; they observe what happened, explore the lesson that needs to be learned and then simply move onto the next adventure.
Then there are type II who draw a thick line after any disappointment and say, “That´s it; no more.” They close the chapter and never re-open it again, albeit knowing that many times “later” is better than “never.”
If you belong to the latter group, cry your heart out if needed, get rid of the sorrows and feelings of being victimized by life. Apply all the steps demonstrated below to figure out what caused you trouble. But like all things, this emotion will not last forever. When you then get up the next morning, tackle your day with new optimism. Deal with the root of the disappointment; otherwise, you will simply fall into the trap of being perpetually angry with yourself and with life.
Normal ways to deal with Disappointment
Below are ways to deal with your disappointment:
1. Accept that things do not always go our way. Perfectionists and high-maintenance people tend to struggle the most with this reality as they forever try in vain to grasp control of literally everything and everyone associated with them. Just learn to accept this given reality like the air you breathe.
2. Maintain optimism. Do not let the disappointment define you. Constant reminding yourself of what you are worth and the values that are important to you is the right approach to overcoming disappointment.
3. Have no expectations towards anything. “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed,” once said Alexander Pope.
4. And last but not least, forgive the things that make you disappointed and move on.
Decoding your disappointment
Although the discussion points above are very useful when it comes to treating your own disappointment, it is noteworthy to have a strong purpose in life in order to live with the chaos that happen around us every day. The crucial point is that we ought to have a Why for everything we do.
Understanding the “Why” in your career, for instance, will enable you to not dwell on certain work-related disappointment and lose sight of your ultimate objectives, for instance, in the event you feel the urge to leave your current employment but are reluctant to do so because of the fear of future uncertainty. With a firm belief of ultimate objectives, the decision to leave an environment that you think is inhibiting your skills and development, for a new better place is likely a wiser and more fruitful decision. Deciding to stay put in that case will only cause your bitterness to continue to fester and wither your career aspirations.
When you have a Why in your family, for instance, you will create a happy life for your partner and your children as you will always share the most meaningful moments with each other at all times. Disappointment in your partner making less money than you or your children getting lower grades at school than you expected at certain periods of time will not be blown out of proportion to jeopardize your family happiness. Money and grades are just goals, or better defined as small goals. Therefore, let’s treat disappointment the unbound way by focusing on your Why, your desire, not goals.
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Check out my ebook – Decoding your negative emotions. There are lots of praises for this ebook and I hope it helps you too.
Have a great and mindful journey, dear.