Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating guilt the unbound way

Remember the time when you felt like you did something wrong. Okay, I know it’s very frustrated to relive your bad feelings, but for a moment at least recall how you once dealt with it, because that’s the only way to find a better approach to treat your guilt.

Guilt is a message from our emotion to learn from mistake so we would not repeat it. The key lesson learned when you feel “guilty” is being able to recognize “I did something bad”, which is much different than claiming “I am bad”.

Do not hate yourself, hate what you did instead and decide to change or improve from it.

The choice is ours as to whether we bury ourselves in guilt or let it go. It is important to remember that guilt can be a good thing, as an expression of our conscience and its response to the mistakes we make along the way. There is no such thing as a perfect-person, at least not in this day and age. We all have done things we felt guilty about. The problem arises when we cannot move past the guilt or when that guilt brings self-destructive behavior.

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Know your Why, Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating disappointment the unbound way

I bet you experienced this feeling, for so many times in your life.

(No worries, me too)

Let’s make up some (very related) examples:

Your crush refused you and your carefully prepared 100 roses, in front of so many strangers on the street?

Your colleague took the promotion at year end which should have been yours and laughed at your face?

Your loved one promised to come home early to have dinner together at your anniversary and was nowhere to be seen, even though it was so late already?

Whether we’re talking about a lost job, a child being disappointed because Mom or Dad didn’t make it to the school play, a failed marriage where you put the blame squarely on your spouse, the feelings are all the same. As a “victim”, your disappointment could be so great that you will not ever forgive. No matter how slight the reason is, when you are experiencing disappointment, the feelings are real. Consequently, if we do not deal with disappointment appropriately, they become counterproductive and create even more disappointment.

There are two types of people on earth. Type I are those who take any disappointment in stride; they observe what happened, explore the lesson that needs to be learned and then simply move onto the next adventure.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating fear the unbound way

Have you ever experienced a Eureka moment? I once suddenly understood a secret of almost all of our negative emotions when I was asking around the question: “What is your most irritated negative feeling?”

And results? Mine is “I have problems with anger” (read my article about Treating anger the unbound way), some will have different issues such as:

“I am still poor and I hate that”

“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”

“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”

“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this.”

“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”

“I don’t know yet about my future.” [both studying and working]

The list goes on.

And I will tell you this secret:

It starts with Fear.

90% of our bad emotions come from Fear. Let’s work again all of the emotions (and feel free to apply yours!):

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating anger the unbound way

I stared at my broken iphone.

I had smashed it against the wall. The iphone’s screen was broken and I knew it would take quite some money (and some time) to fix it.

But the thing is, if you now ask me why I did it, I can not give a proper answer. I know whom I set my fire on, but I wouldn’t recall the reason. After some time it was too small to ever think about it again.

And that was not the first time I smashed my phone because of trivial reasons.

It was quite stupid, you may say, but we all sacrifice our personal belongings, our own mental stability, our precious relationships, or all of the above, to get over the negative emotions quickly.

We never think of the root cause which triggered us to act like we are the victims of our emotions. We just act whatever that makes us release the bad energy. But you know, there are better ways to treat anger, besides smashing things, punching pillows and shouting in the forest (especially when we don’t live near any forest!).

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

You are not your emotions

Recently when devoting most of my spare time to research on the emotion subject, I realized that when we talk about emotions to our friends, family, even to ourselves, it can’t be clear. Emotions are like tornadoes of feelings, which always seem to be so vague, yet so strong, which are unable to reach and control. We never realize, at least in times we are drown in our own emotions, that we are not those emotions.

You know the feelings of being disappointed, furious, discouraged, or depressed. Sometimes, the feelings can be more complicated, like experiencing misery as a result of discouragement, or disappointment coming after fury. At such moments, you were seeing a hole between who you truly are, and what you are encountering. You don’t know why or what precisely you are feeling, but simply realize that you don’t feel good. Feelings do have many layers which you need to recognize by serious reflection.

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