Category: Think different

Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating fear the unbound way

Quynh

Have you ever experienced a Eureka moment? I once suddenly understood a secret of almost all of our negative emotions when I was asking around the question: “What is your most irritated negative feeling?”

And results? Mine is “I have problems with anger” (read my article about Treating anger the unbound way), some will have different issues such as:

“I am still poor and I hate that”

“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”

“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”

“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this.”

“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”

“I don’t know yet about my future.” [both studying and working]

The list goes on.

And I will tell you this secret:

It starts with Fear.

90% of our bad emotions come from Fear. Let’s work again all of the emotions (and feel free to apply yours!):

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating anger the unbound way

Quynh

I stared at my broken iphone.

I had smashed it against the wall. The iphone’s screen was broken and I knew it would take quite some money (and some time) to fix it.

But the thing is, if you now ask me why I did it, I can not give a proper answer. I know whom I set my fire on, but I wouldn’t recall the reason. After some time it was too small to ever think about it again.

And that was not the first time I smashed my phone because of trivial reasons.

It was quite stupid, you may say, but we all sacrifice our personal belongings, our own mental stability, our precious relationships, or all of the above, to get over the negative emotions quickly.

We never think of the root cause which triggered us to act like we are the victims of our emotions. We just act whatever that makes us release the bad energy. But you know, there are better ways to treat anger, besides smashing things, punching pillows and shouting in the forest (especially when we don’t live near any forest!).

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

You are not your emotions

Quynh

Recently when devoting most of my spare time to research on the emotion subject, I realized that when we talk about emotions to our friends, family, even to ourselves, it can’t be clear. Emotions are like tornadoes of feelings, which always seem to be so vague, yet so strong, which are unable to reach and control. We never realize, at least in times we are drown in our own emotions, that we are not those emotions.

You know the feelings of being disappointed, furious, discouraged, or depressed. Sometimes, the feelings can be more complicated, like experiencing misery as a result of discouragement, or disappointment coming after fury. At such moments, you were seeing a hole between who you truly are, and what you are encountering. You don’t know why or what precisely you are feeling, but simply realize that you don’t feel good. Feelings do have many layers which you need to recognize by serious reflection.

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Do new things, Think different

How to overcome procrastination and take the first step to your ultimate goal

Quynh

I know, first steps stink!

The first step is always the most difficult step. We all have to fight with our laziness and procrastination to take the first step of anything. And not only that, first steps are new and therefore can never be smooth.

I also know, the first step is also the main cause that make 80% of new year’s resolutions fail in just the second month of the year. Why procrastination is that hard to overcome? Why taking the first step is always be beaten by so many reasons?

What is procrastination?

Procrastination alludes to the act of intentionally and constantly putting off assignments which should be done. Individuals who procrastinate tend to self-mislead their acts by doing different assignments which are insignificant to pass time, and afterwards have no opportunity to do the more difficult and essential assignments. In time, this turns into a negative behavior pattern that is hard to escape, and will influence the individual’s standard of work, just as his emotions or desires.

Where does procrastination come from?

There are heaps of manners by which the act of procrastination can develop. It is a certain thing that you won’t procrastinate dependably for the same reasons. At times, you procrastinate in light of the fact that you believe you have such a large number of things at the forefront of your thoughts and procrastinating makes you feel free. Be that as it may, on other occasions, you will simply feel apathetic or tired, and not in the state of mind to do it.

Below are various reasons for procrastination and the manners in which you can react to them.

Laziness

There are situations when we tend to procrastinate in light of the fact that we don’t have the physical or the enthusiastic power to work. Idleness is an exceptionally perilous thing, and it can drag you in laziness without taking note. At the point when laziness occurs, even the simplest assignment may require a ton of work. Why? Since you won’t have the level of energy that you require so as to play out that assignment, some may even say that the assignment is excessively troublesome and they will hesitate just to preserve energy. In any case, you should attempt to escape this pattern at the earliest opportunity before gloom kicks in.

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About "100 new things", Do new things, Think different, Treat negative emotions

How to retain ourselves with love the unbound way

Quynh

From people perspective, everything, every action, every motion, every thought, every feeling, all of life is an attempt to experience love. And when I mention “love” it is not just about Eros (the romantic love) but also:

  • Philia (deep friendship),
  • Ludus (playful love, which involves playful activities),
  • Agape (selfless love, including but not limited to love for humankind, for nature, for God),
  • Pragma (longstanding love, which involves duty and long term interests),
  • Philautia (self love, which can be healthy or unhealthy, we will discuss the healthy Philautia below), and
  • Storge (familial love) 

But how can we retain ourselves with love, incorporate this perspective into our daily lives and how do we therefore reduce our “negative” emotions such as hate, resentment, and anger? Is there an easy way of looking at ourselves and our emotions so that we can sustain the perspective that hate and love are just two sides of the same coin?

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About "100 new things", Do new things, Think different

Why I wrote “100 new little things”

Quynh

Photo Nov 19, 1 39 25 PM.jpg

 

Why I wrote “100 new little things”

The book is my own experience, and the experience at the beginning is not as clear as written in the book, but it is in fact a long journey from many years ago of an introverted and lazy person, trying to get out of the box that life locked her in.

My beginning was like many people who tried something new to overcome stress and boredom. Then I got swept up in the whirlwind of works, schools and responsibilities, felt nothing that I really loved and the limits that introverts always encounter. And then I told myself: why couldn’t I both keep my nature (introverted) and radiate in a different way instead of clumping inwardly? A cute kind of “extroverted introvert”, or an ambivert 🙂

And then I realized a recipe of 3 ingredients, which if being put individually will be found spread and shallow throughout the web, but are extremely beneficial to combine, and immediately from the beginning I have set it as “100 new little things”. And it’s especially helpful for introverts to try their own way. In addition, because these are just small beginnings, introverts will not feel compelled to “strive hard”, to “change their values,” or to “expose oneself to public” in order to achieve success.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

The secret of doing “new little things”: How to overcome fear

Quynh

The secret of doing “new little things”: Overcome fear by summoning your Courage

I remember many years ago the Cartoon Network channel had a cartoon series named Courage The Cowardly Dog. This was a cute series about an excited and frightened pink dog that had been living in a house with two oldsters who every day faced with lots of monsters, aliens and ghosts. Courage ran and hid all the time, but every time when the two oldsters were in danger Courage would close his eyes to run back to rescue, for just all three could run together. Very cute.

Thinking about it, you have fears that you have no reason to eliminate. Like me, I have a fear of cockroaches. But that fear has no harm, so I have almost no motivation to eliminate it. After all, I still have the fear of cockroaches for decades. In fact, we have quite a lot of ways to overcome a fear, once we identify them, including fear of cockroaches.

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