Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating anger the unbound way

I stared at my broken iphone.

I had smashed it against the wall. The iphone’s screen was broken and I knew it would take quite some money (and some time) to fix it.

But the thing is, if you now ask me why I did it, I can not give a proper answer. I know whom I set my fire on, but I wouldn’t recall the reason. After some time it was too small to ever think about it again.

And that was not the first time I smashed my phone because of trivial reasons.

It was quite stupid, you may say, but we all sacrifice our personal belongings, our own mental stability, our precious relationships, or all of the above, to get over the negative emotions quickly.

We never think of the root cause which triggered us to act like we are the victims of our emotions. We just act whatever that makes us release the bad energy. But you know, there are better ways to treat anger, besides smashing things, punching pillows and shouting in the forest (especially when we don’t live near any forest!).

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

You are not your emotions

Recently when devoting most of my spare time to research on the emotion subject, I realized that when we talk about emotions to our friends, family, even to ourselves, it can’t be clear. Emotions are like tornadoes of feelings, which always seem to be so vague, yet so strong, which are unable to reach and control. We never realize, at least in times we are drown in our own emotions, that we are not those emotions.

You know the feelings of being disappointed, furious, discouraged, or depressed. Sometimes, the feelings can be more complicated, like experiencing misery as a result of discouragement, or disappointment coming after fury. At such moments, you were seeing a hole between who you truly are, and what you are encountering. You don’t know why or what precisely you are feeling, but simply realize that you don’t feel good. Feelings do have many layers which you need to recognize by serious reflection.

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About "100 new things", Do new things, Think different, Treat negative emotions

How to retain ourselves with love the unbound way

From people perspective, everything, every action, every motion, every thought, every feeling, all of life is an attempt to experience love. And when I mention “love” it is not just about Eros (the romantic love) but also:

  • Philia (deep friendship),
  • Ludus (playful love, which involves playful activities),
  • Agape (selfless love, including but not limited to love for humankind, for nature, for God),
  • Pragma (longstanding love, which involves duty and long term interests),
  • Philautia (self love, which can be healthy or unhealthy, we will discuss the healthy Philautia below), and
  • Storge (familial love) 

But how can we retain ourselves with love, incorporate this perspective into our daily lives and how do we therefore reduce our “negative” emotions such as hate, resentment, and anger? Is there an easy way of looking at ourselves and our emotions so that we can sustain the perspective that hate and love are just two sides of the same coin?

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About "100 new things", Think different, Treat negative emotions

The secret of doing “new little things”: How to overcome fear

The secret of doing “new little things”: Overcome fear by summoning your Courage

I remember many years ago the Cartoon Network channel had a cartoon series named Courage The Cowardly Dog. This was a cute series about an excited and frightened pink dog that had been living in a house with two oldsters who every day faced with lots of monsters, aliens and ghosts. Courage ran and hid all the time, but every time when the two oldsters were in danger Courage would close his eyes to run back to rescue, for just all three could run together. Very cute.

Thinking about it, you have fears that you have no reason to eliminate. Like me, I have a fear of cockroaches. But that fear has no harm, so I have almost no motivation to eliminate it. After all, I still have the fear of cockroaches for decades. In fact, we have quite a lot of ways to overcome a fear, once we identify them, including fear of cockroaches.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

Shame of a perfectionist: Are you a celebrity? If not, forget it.

Shame of a perfectionist: Are you a celebrity? If not, forget it.

Anyone of us might experienced the feeling of being ashamed in the past. Most of us can forget about it quickly, but there are some embarrassment which still stays there, and when we remember it, we feel uneasy, our hands sweat, our faces turn red.

A lousy presentation? A disgraceful saying? Whatever the case, the longest shame is the shame in front of others. (Because if you do a shameful thing that no one witnesses, the shame will drift into your subconsciousness forever).

For a perfectionist, shame is a real enemy. Because in about two dozen embarrassment in the last ten years, there might be only two cases that stayed in the minds for normal peeps. As perfectionists, because of high standards, their expectations of something are often pretty far from reality, that’s why they would cope with the feeling of their own shame more than others.

So, if you are not a perfectionist: take a breath, take s step to control your shame, why would you let it dominate you and not vice versa?

But if you are not a perfectionist, are you a public figure? If not, you are still lucky enough. Imagine the embarrassing moments of celebs being photographed, recorded, made into meme and spread around day by day.

Do you feel better?

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