Think different, Treat expectations, Treat expectations

A letter for new moms – How to survive with your toddler

Following feedbacks for my previous “Letter for new moms – How to survive the first year of being a mother”, I think it is necessary to again share my experience of dealing with a toddler, the one that drains most of our energy! 

So, dear mom, 

Fever, fever, fever all the times! 

As a parent of a toddler, you may recall the sleepless nights, over-worried feelings and the fuzzle of what to do next during your precious’ fever. In deed, it can be a disturbing thing for parents to manage. Regularly a high fever in little children can spring out of the blue and reach alarming heights, but a fever itself can never be as a disaster as your over-anxiety.

Let me describe a bit about my situation so that you can easily imagine the things I am talking about. I am a type of over-anxiety mom. I just have one child and since he was born, I kind of turned into an over-exaggerated mom, regarding anger and anxiety. My baby, on his third day in this world, got  pneumonia, and was taken away from me and sent to the PICU for one week (to me it was like forever). After that, he got heavy breaths for like 3 months. When he was sleeping, I had to wake up from time to time to check on him and make sure he was fine dealing with his hissing sounds. It took him quite a long time to get over it, not until his 4th month when his breath became normal and me getting so used to checking him.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions, Workshops

WORKSHOP: Decoding negative emotions

My dear readers,

I just opened the first workshop – “Decoding negative emotions” for this page Unbound Wallflowers on June 30th, 2019. The workshop was held in a warm and cozy co-working place – QSpace, located at the center of District 1, Ho Chi Minh city. It was a 3 hour workshop with both presentation and practice. The purposes of this workshop were to:

  1. Discover the secret causes lying behind negative feelings and understand more about the self
  2. Fix the broken relationships and enhance the current ones.
  3. Lead a healthier life, because mindful people live happier and yes, healthier physically and mentally .
  4. Help our loved ones and people around us avoid bad reactions stemming from destructive feelings

And I was touched and so happy with all comments left by attendees in the Survey sheets, that my workshop was different, that it had helped them in realising themselves and their own emotions, and that I had shed some light in solving their problems. 

More importantly, this workshop went on the right track to the main purpose of this website, by really helping people to unbound, to really think different, and to be able to see themselves in another angle. 

There were also contributions and constructive comments for the workshop, for me to know that since it was not a perfect one, I will have room to improve my future work, to present in a more connected way and to create more tips, charts and fun.

This workshop means a lot to me, and despite sending a thank-you email and share my thoughts in the fanpage, I am writing this here again, and words are not enough to show you, my dear readers, how much I love what I am doing, and I hope life won’t catch me in any busy way, for me to continue what I am doing right here, right now.

Have a wonderful day, my friends.


A letter for new moms – How to survive through the first year of being a mother

Dear Mom,

Are you in the postpartum depression? Or if you went through it, does it make you quiver whenever you remember that hard period of time in your life?

I am writing this to you because I once had a hard labor, I once was in postpartum depression, and I once was touched out.

If you are a single mom, you probably are aware that single moms have such a large number of more issues to manage consistently than mothers who have a “significant other” to help them out. You need to work twice as hard as other moms. All things considered, generally, you are mother and father, all in one package.

The superpower you

You get the chance to be a cook, driver, housekeeper, nurse, planner, organizer, storyteller and teacher all while holding down your full-time job, just in case that you need to know the definition of exhaustion, look up “mother” in the dictionary.

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Think different, Think different, Think different, Think different, Treat negative emotions, Treat negative emotions, Treat negative emotions, Treat negative emotions, Treat negative emotions

Treating guilt the unbound way

Remember the time when you felt like you did something wrong. Okay, I know it’s very frustrated to relive your bad feelings, but for a moment at least recall how you once dealt with it, because that’s the only way to find a better approach to treat your guilt.

Guilt is a message from our emotion to learn from mistake so we would not repeat it. The key lesson learned when you feel “guilty” is being able to recognize “I did something bad”, which is much different than claiming “I am bad”.

Do not hate yourself, hate what you did instead and decide to change or improve from it.

The choice is ours as to whether we bury ourselves in guilt or let it go. It is important to remember that guilt can be a good thing, as an expression of our conscience and its response to the mistakes we make along the way. There is no such thing as a perfect-person, at least not in this day and age. We all have done things we felt guilty about. The problem arises when we cannot move past the guilt or when that guilt brings self-destructive behavior.

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Know your Why, Treat expectations

One way to cure all of your negativity

There is,

A unique way to cure your negative feelings,

And not just those feelings, it also cures

All of your irritation,


And discouragement,

It is nothing other than,

To Know your Why

My three-year-old child once,

Decided not to wear clothes on his own

He asked for help, with his kittenish voice,

“Mom, don’t you love me anymore.”

The melted me answered, “My sweetheart, of course I love you.”

Then he went: “Help me wear these clothes, if so.”

And I replied, “I love you, baby,

But no.”

The guilt was there

But I knew my Why.

You may also once,

Felt like you don’t want to accept more workplace challenges.

Because more hard work means less free time

The irritation was there

But you knew your Why.

You may also once,

Felt like the thing you know IS RIGHT

Will never bring you the future of wealth

Because the souls were moved, not the pockets were filled

The confusion was there

But you knew your Why

And once,

You felt like the people you love

Never understand what you have been doing

Because love should have brought “ease and cheese”

The discouragement was there

But you knew your Why

And that was the time

You stepped over your negative feelings

Irritation, Confusion, Discouragement

That were floating on the surface

And faced your ultimate FEAR

That was hiding deep down

And slayed that dragon

With your sword of WHY.

Know your Why

Treating disappointment the unbound way

I bet you experienced this feeling, for so many times in your life.

(No worries, me too)

Let’s make up some (very related) examples:

Your crush refused you and your carefully prepared 100 roses, in front of so many strangers on the street?

Your colleague took the promotion at year end which should have been yours and laughed at your face?

Your loved one promised to come home early to have dinner together at your anniversary and was nowhere to be seen, even though it was so late already?

Whether we’re talking about a lost job, a child being disappointed because Mom or Dad didn’t make it to the school play, a failed marriage where you put the blame squarely on your spouse, the feelings are all the same. As a “victim”, your disappointment could be so great that you will not ever forgive. No matter how slight the reason is, when you are experiencing disappointment, the feelings are real. Consequently, if we do not deal with disappointment appropriately, they become counterproductive and create even more disappointment.

There are two types of people on earth. Type I are those who take any disappointment in stride; they observe what happened, explore the lesson that needs to be learned and then simply move onto the next adventure.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions

Treating fear the unbound way

Have you ever experienced a Eureka moment? I once suddenly understood a secret of almost all of our negative emotions when I was asking around the question: “What is your most irritated negative feeling?”

And results? Mine is “I have problems with anger” (read my article about Treating anger the unbound way), some will have different issues such as:

“I am still poor and I hate that”

“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”

“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”

“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this.”

“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”

“I don’t know yet about my future.” [both studying and working]

The list goes on.

And I will tell you this secret:

It starts with Fear.

90% of our bad emotions come from Fear. Let’s work again all of the emotions (and feel free to apply yours!):