Know your Why, Think different

How to know the root core of a difficult problem?

The road to self-discovery is as long as a lifetime. We grow, we learn, we change every day. Sometimes, a couple of years have passed and the old concepts for us have no longer been suitable. It is usual when each of us occasionally feels that we do not understand ourselves, or have acted as if we were a different person. Therefore, sometimes revisiting the values ​​of life is a must.

During that revisit, there are questions that suddenly pop up. Those questions may have been chasing you for a while but you still don’t have the answer.

Often these are difficult questions for which answers will not easily surface. Such questions may be related to philosophical reflection, religious beliefs, or elusive emotions. In regards to such questions, there are two types: one that you don’t have the answer, and the other is that your answer is still on the surface without touching the root core of the problem. Whichsoever, if the core of the problem has not been touched, there will be no adequate measures to resolve it at all. So how do you know the root core of a difficult problem?

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Know your Why, Think different

The person you want to become?

Each of us once has an idol in our heart. It maybe your father, your mother, or a relative that you always admired in your childhood. Growing up a little to the dreaming age, it could be the excellent artists or actors on screen. After graduation, your idol can be Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, or some famous and rich start-ups. At this point of time, who would that person be?

After thinking a little about the person you want to become, I’ll tell you why this is so important.

We are often told, “Be yourself,” but if you take one moment to think about this, “being yourself” sometimes doesn’t bring you any lasting benefits.

Being ourselves comforts our differences, makes us feel less guilty and embraces the norms. Sometimes we give up a difficult task or a struggle, by telling ourselves that we are different from the other person and no one will understand us. At other times, we reject opportunities because they are not within our expertise, interests or focus.

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Do new things, Do new things, Know your Why, Think different

ONISM: The awareness of how little in the world you will experience

Have you ever wondered about how little you are, and how little in the world you will experience in your short lifespan? Especially with ones who love to travel, this pain may touch you not just once, that you have to decide between mountains and beaches, Europe and Asia, with an aching thought that even until you have to say your last goodbye, you still never really know your whole country, your whole world, your whole universe?

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows explains this very well using the word “Onism”.

onism – n. the frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time, which is like standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange place names like other people’s passwords, each representing one more thing you’ll never get to see before you die-and all because, as the arrow on the map helpfully points out, you are here.

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Think different, Treat expectations, Treat expectations

A letter for new moms – How to survive with your toddler

Following feedbacks for my previous “Letter for new moms – How to survive the first year of being a mother”, I think it is necessary to again share my experience of dealing with a toddler, the one that drains most of our energy! 

So, dear mom, 

Fever, fever, fever all the times! 

As a parent of a toddler, you may recall the sleepless nights, over-worried feelings and the fuzzle of what to do next during your precious’ fever. In deed, it can be a disturbing thing for parents to manage. Regularly a high fever in little children can spring out of the blue and reach alarming heights, but a fever itself can never be as a disaster as your over-anxiety.

Let me describe a bit about my situation so that you can easily imagine the things I am talking about. I am a type of over-anxiety mom. I just have one child and since he was born, I kind of turned into an over-exaggerated mom, regarding anger and anxiety. My baby, on his third day in this world, got  pneumonia, and was taken away from me and sent to the PICU for one week (to me it was like forever). After that, he got heavy breaths for like 3 months. When he was sleeping, I had to wake up from time to time to check on him and make sure he was fine dealing with his hissing sounds. It took him quite a long time to get over it, not until his 4th month when his breath became normal and me getting so used to checking him.

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Think different, Treat negative emotions, Workshops

WORKSHOP: Decoding negative emotions

My dear readers,

I just opened the first workshop – “Decoding negative emotions” for this page Unbound Wallflowers on June 30th, 2019. The workshop was held in a warm and cozy co-working place – QSpace, located at the center of District 1, Ho Chi Minh city. It was a 3 hour workshop with both presentation and practice. The purposes of this workshop were to:

  1. Discover the secret causes lying behind negative feelings and understand more about the self
  2. Fix the broken relationships and enhance the current ones.
  3. Lead a healthier life, because mindful people live happier and yes, healthier physically and mentally .
  4. Help our loved ones and people around us avoid bad reactions stemming from destructive feelings

And I was touched and so happy with all comments left by attendees in the Survey sheets, that my workshop was different, that it had helped them in realising themselves and their own emotions, and that I had shed some light in solving their problems. 

More importantly, this workshop went on the right track to the main purpose of this website, by really helping people to unbound, to really think different, and to be able to see themselves in another angle. 

There were also contributions and constructive comments for the workshop, for me to know that since it was not a perfect one, I will have room to improve my future work, to present in a more connected way and to create more tips, charts and fun.

This workshop means a lot to me, and despite sending a thank-you email and share my thoughts in the fanpage, I am writing this here again, and words are not enough to show you, my dear readers, how much I love what I am doing, and I hope life won’t catch me in any busy way, for me to continue what I am doing right here, right now.

Have a wonderful day, my friends.


A letter for new moms – How to survive through the first year of being a mother

Dear Mom,

Are you in the postpartum depression? Or if you went through it, does it make you quiver whenever you remember that hard period of time in your life?

I am writing this to you because I once had a hard labor, I once was in postpartum depression, and I once was touched out.

If you are a single mom, you probably are aware that single moms have such a large number of more issues to manage consistently than mothers who have a “significant other” to help them out. You need to work twice as hard as other moms. All things considered, generally, you are mother and father, all in one package.

The superpower you

You get the chance to be a cook, driver, housekeeper, nurse, planner, organizer, storyteller and teacher all while holding down your full-time job, just in case that you need to know the definition of exhaustion, look up “mother” in the dictionary.

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Think different, Treat expectations

Why is struggling a part of life?

For what reason is it, at that point, that a few people appear to experience existence with no apparent struggle, while others appear to pull in it into their existence with every breath? I have known struggle in each part of my life: my profession, my relationships and my ability to let go and surrender, and it comes to my conclusion that the former experience more or less the same amount of struggle like the latter, just that they don’t reveal their weak parts in front of you 🙂

Struggle is a part of life. Whenever you try anything difficult or new, you will undoubtedly have some kind of struggle or battle. Exercise requires struggle. Love requires struggle. Changing a supposition, conviction, desire or disposition all requires struggle. Whenever you endeavor growth in any aspect of your life, you will struggle.

A struggle isn’t in our genes, however, in our minds and our response to life. It isn’t in our environment, condition or individuals but in our desires.

The issue here is that every one of us is endeavoring to grow, structure and live our ideal life, however, sometimes we don’t have the foggiest idea what it will or should look like. We are endeavoring to move into a cheerful and effective future, however, we don’t appear to realize how to make it. We as a whole need something progressively, better or less, in some aspect of our life, yet are at a loss with respect to why we don’t or can’t have it. That’s what is called “a struggle”.

If it’s not too much trouble note – I am including the following in any definition of struggle: exertion, disappointment, issues, dangers, misfortunes, broken dreams, dissatisfaction, stress, and so forth.

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