Know your Why, Think different

What is your definition of happiness?

You and I, and so many other people know what make us happy. We bear hard things, we hit the books, we work our fingers to the bone, just to grab some moments of pleasure, satisfaction and happiness.

Relationships. Wealth. Fame. Food. Travel. To name a few.

Different people may have different kind of experience but we know very well what make us happy and we all want to pursue it.

However…

Is happiness our biggest goal we should aim for? Happiness is momentary, it comes and goes. We have drown ourselves into an endless loop of seeking, feeling and losing happiness. That’s why pursuing happiness often makes us unhappy and unsatisfied instead.

Some people may say that they want to seek for joy, because joy lives as the innate ability and lasts with us on our way of experiencing the world. Some, as their ultimate purpose, may look at peace, faithfulness, or even mindfulness. But again, is it enough?

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Think different, Treating negative emotions

Treating fear the unbound way

Have you ever experienced a Eureka moment? I once suddenly understood a secret of almost all of our negative emotions when I was asking around the question: “What is your most irritated negative feeling?”

And results? Mine is “I have problems with anger” (read my article about Treating anger the unbound way), some will have different issues such as:

“I am still poor and I hate that”

“I don’t want to socialize but I’m not so good feeling lonely as well”

“I hate [this] because I can’t control it”

“I want to be free but at this time I can’t, and I’m so frustrated with this.”

“I am over jealous with all of my boyfriend’s female friends and I’m upset with it”

“I don’t know yet about my future.” [both studying and working]

The list goes on.

And I will tell you this secret:

It starts with Fear.

90% of our bad emotions come from Fear. Let’s work again all of the emotions (and feel free to apply yours!):

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Think different, Treating negative emotions

Treating anger the unbound way

I stared at my broken iphone.

I had smashed it against the wall. The iphone’s screen was broken and I knew it would take quite some money (and some time) to fix it.

But the thing is, if you now ask me why I did it, I can not give a proper answer. I know whom I set my fire on, but I wouldn’t recall the reason. After some time it was too small to ever think about it again.

And that was not the first time I smashed my phone because of trivial reasons.

It was quite stupid, you may say, but we all sacrifice our personal belongings, our own mental stability, our precious relationships, or all of the above, to get over the negative emotions quickly.

We never think of the root cause which triggered us to act like we are the victims of our emotions. We just act whatever that makes us release the bad energy. But you know, there are better ways to treat anger, besides smashing things, punching pillows and shouting in the forest (especially when we don’t live near any forest!).

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Think different, Treating negative emotions

You are not your emotions

Recently when devoting most of my spare time to research on the emotion subject, I realized that when we talk about emotions to our friends, family, even to ourselves, it can’t be clear. Emotions are like tornadoes of feelings, which always seem to be so vague, yet so strong, which are unable to reach and control. We never realize, at least in times we are drown in our own emotions, that we are not those emotions.

You know the feelings of being disappointed, furious, discouraged, or depressed. Sometimes, the feelings can be more complicated, like experiencing misery as a result of discouragement, or disappointment coming after fury. At such moments, you were seeing a hole between who you truly are, and what you are encountering. You don’t know why or what precisely you are feeling, but simply realize that you don’t feel good. Feelings do have many layers which you need to recognize by serious reflection.

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About "100 new things", Do new things

9 reasons Doing new things is helping you evolve

This website is built to encourage doing new things and thinking different. For those who love challenges to thrive, it is clear as a bell. But for those who are so introverted, those who very much enjoy their comfort zone and those who are stuck with procrastination, doing new things is still difficult which requires energy, time, and priority (of course).

If you are one of the latter, you may want to read on to see some cool benefits of doing new, so that you will save your energy and time to put it in your priority list. And if you can make it even better, you will have the need to develop this “Doing new things” mindset, gain its momentum and build it as a habit.

1. Doing new things is A trait of successful people

Successful people might swear when they are talking to one type of person, meanwhile are sophisticated and classy when talking to another type. They might treat one of their employees in a semi-harsh way and treat another in a friendly and relaxed manner. These different situations have nothing to do with chance or coincidence. Highly successful people are fully aware of what they are communicating to the outside world, and they know so because they have a lot of different perspectives through which they can view things.

2. Overcoming fear and stagnation

Have you ever recalled your frequent anxiety or fear toward something? Public speaking? An important examination? A spider or a rat? Doing new little things is a great solution to train ourselves for fear, because it is the time for us to get control and not play victim. Sooner or later, we will be able to respond to difficult circumstances that we have to endure with greater ease. Plus, this method can get you motivated to remove the barriers progressively and overcome the stagnation as well. Gradually, when you get used to little challenges, you will realize that fear has stopped and stagnation has dropped. And then, when facing something that is about to happen, you have already collected enough stamina, and you pop up like a monarch butterfly emerging from chrysalis.

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Do new things, Writing

Why keeping a journal is a smart way to reach your goal

When you decide to try on one new thing, which maybe your one of your new hobbies, adventures or studying, may I ask do you record it? and how? For instance, if you decide to learn about webdesign technique, do you write down why you decide to learn it, how good you plan to be at, your progress and along way results, your feelings and satisfactions?

How do you know how far you got from the initial decision of trying that one thing? How do you know if that really changed you? And how much more you want in life?

And that is just one thing. If you have a series of things you want to do, as written everywhere in this blog: the 100 new little things, how do you keep track of them?

I strongly recommend you to keep a journal for yourself. Because if you structure it well for your own purposes, you will amazingly accelerate in everything you want to do in life.

Personally I have a lot of journals of all kinds, mostly for reflection purpose. It will be very touching to open an old journal you wrote years ago and read what the young you once said. I am always captivated by my old ideas, dreams, friends, jobs and hobbies, in my most sparkling years back then. Most of those things I already forgot or left in my past, and when I see them again, I know how far I go and more importantly what’s next I want to pursue.

Do you keep a journal or have you at any point written in one? Keeping a journal can be significantly more than jotting during your day’s activities and contemplations. It may be where you become acquainted with yourself and explore your inner world. There is an exceptional sort of journal known as a bullet journal that will enable you to record so many things that are not just your past or memory, but your to-do list, your state, your health, your bucket list, your dreams, so on and so forth. It is often made with starter expressions or points for you to expound on and to consider. A great one even has places for you to return over your writing and note what you have learned about yourself.

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About "100 new things", Do new things

The way you know your Why

Let me tell you about someone I met at Taipei airport just on our Lunar new year trip this Feb. You may guess, an old friend, a colleague, a family member?

Nope. A rabbit.

Yes, you hear me well. I met a rabbit, his picture below:

Glamorous steps towards light – Nhyh Jen Ni Ni
My photo

I know, some may say it is too weird or devil, some are terrifying or annoying seeing this, and some freak out. It is not an easy statue, but I love it.

Nhyh-Jen Ni Ni, the artist of this piece of art, uses waste paper as the material of her sculptures, and reshapes it into rabbit-themed creations. Her works are reflections of all of us, who believe they can bravely break through the challenges and frustrations. The name of this statue is “Glamorous steps toward light”.

A narrative of this piece is:

“What’s the biggest fear in life?

Perhaps, it’s not the flaws we tried to improve nor the uncertainty in the dark. It’s the fear of meeting the brighter and stronger self that is beyond our imagination.

Often, we draw a line that prevents us from trying.

Often, we are accustomed to the comfort zone we are at.

However, who is the one set the trap for you and me?

Perhaps, being imperfect is not our biggest fear, it’s the ignorance where we know nothing about our own value.

Staring at the reflection of your face on the window along with the setting sun view, can’t you tell we are all unique and shinny gemstones?

Going out and exploring might be the first step to find your true self?”

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